The Tea Party Would Have Been Awesome! (With the Proper Permit)
0 CommentsBy Lostcheerio on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 at 6:17 PM.
Here's one sure sign this is not the revolution: Somewhere near Washington DC there's a truck driving around full of tea bags.
Yes, the plan today was to dump 1,000,000 tea bags into the Potomac River as a protest of -- uh -- the government. Unfortunately, the proper permit for dumping a truckload of Lipton into the Potomac could not be obtained! WHAT? NOT OBTAIN THE PROPER PERMIT!? Well, FINE, then they were going to dump the 1,000,000 tea bags on the ground! ON THE GROUND! In the *park.* NO! THEY DID NOT HAVE A PERMIT FOR DUMPING TEA IN THE PARK EITHER!! Even after the protesters offered to dump the tea tags onto a tarp for easy clean-up, the authorities weren't crazy about the idea. So the hundreds of protesters (HUNDREDS! HIDE YOUR CHILDREN!) packed up their tea bags and went home. Because nothing says "HANG 'EM HIGH!" like a quiet obeisance to the local dumping ordinances.
So much for the event billed as the largest grassroots movement in history. Guess what teabaggers? Fox News got what they wanted out of you -- a big fat ratings day. Show hosts coming at you from across the country! Live music! Parades! Tea! All on Fox! Of course, it was fair and balanced reporting, exactly the same coverage they gave to those silly anti-war protests which a few (hundred thousand) people attended in a couple (thousand) cities around the country (world). If you want a hearty chuckle, watch this montage of the slavering, drooling promotion from Fox News.
I mean, it's a little bit silly. But hey, invoking the Boston Tea Party was always ridiculous. First of all, Americans in Boston were protesting taxation without representation. Remember November 4? We all voted. You lost. Obama has cut taxes on 95% of the population. Even that top tier of income earners, for whom the tax cuts have been repealed, are still paying a lower rate than they did under Reagan. Maybe that's why no one was really *that* mad, not mad enough to break any laws anyway, except for some guy who threw a box onto the White House lawn, effectively shutting down the only protest in Washington that was actually functioning.
For a great example of *really super angry* protesters who are ready to storm the Capitol and take back control of their country, watch this video of a nice lady explaining to a small crowd why they have to comply with Secret Service after the box-on-the-White-House-lawn incident. Listen closely and you'll hear one mob member mutter quietly, "We should just have our tea party right here!" That's right -- a TEA PARTY! In your FACE, Obama!
It was supposed to be the beginning of a revolution! They were mad as hell and they weren't going to take it anymore! Well who doesn't love a little activism? Too bad it all ended up with a lonely man driving around in a truck, no place to dump his two tons of tea.
